Yes, The Bachelorette keeps getting weirder, and last night was even weirder than usual. Here in Chicagoland we missed part of the show because local news kept breaking in with tornado warnings, yikes, and on another network, the Blackhawks were playing for the Stanley Cup. (Which they won, yay! #GoHawks!)
Anyway, the show is sticking with the new, "to be continued/no rose ceremony at the end" format and this week started exactly where last week's episode ended, with Nick walking into the firing squad. Well, not really, it was just 11 pissed off guys, but wow, they were really pissed off. (Note from your writer: in his Blog this morning Chris Harrison also uses the term "firing squad" to describe Nick's experience but I drafted my post before reading his. Just saying.) Thoughts:
As I always like to point out, this didn't just happen organically. Nick may have set the ball rolling by reaching out to producers and asking to rejoin the show, but it wouldn't have happened if they hadn't wanted it to. It wasn't a coincidence that Nick was in the audience for the rap battle last week. The producers put him there, with the goal of stirring up drama in the "house." (It's really a hotel room but over the years the word "house" has come to be used in a generic sense on this show to refer to the guys as a group, regardless of where they're actually staying.) The strategy worked, the guys were worked up and talking about "the other guy" took up a whole lot of the show.
Shawn B appeared to have a case of First Impression Rose-itis, stating that allowing Nick to join the show is interfering with his connection with Kaitlyn. She asks him if he trusts her and her decision-making. He starts by saying he wishes she were smarter, which was really stupid on his part. He takes that back, then says that he doesn't know if her actions are matching what she says. Oh dear.
Kaitlyn is all wondering if bringing Nick back was a good idea and the editing makes it look like she might just give him the boot, but at the end of a very cold rose ceremony at a sports stadium, apparently where the New York Mets play, Nick got the final rose of the night. Corey, Jonathan and Ryan, none of whom have gotten much screen time, are sent home, brokenhearted. Then, saddle up boys, it's on to San Antonio,
The dates were the least interesting part of the show this week. Ben H and Shawn got one-on-one dates and the rest of the guys went on a group date that included wearing ridiculous hats and once again performing self-written songs, but that was nothing compared to the self-directed implosions from Joshua and Ian. Maybe I was distracted by the hockey game, but I really didn't get why Kaitlyn was cutting Joshua's hair??? He looked completely dorky afterwards, of course but most of these guys look pretty dorky most of the time, so why the haircut? Just one of the mysteries of life in Bacheloretteland. It did produce a couple of the best lines of dialogue: from Kaitlyn, about cutting Joshua's hair: "I actually really had every intention of giving him a good Mohawk.' And from Nick, about allowing Kaitlyn to cut your hair; "I'm not quite sure how that advances your relationship..."
Things went downhill from there. Joshua felt the need to tell Kaitlyn that the guys were lying to her about liking Nick, she felt the need to confront them about it, they felt the need to deny it and all the while Joshua is looking like an alien after the failed Mohawk haircut. He didn't appear to be falling-down drunk but he sure shot himself in the foot and I'm pretty certain alcohol was involved. Kaitlyn signaled her displeasure by giving Nick the rose.
Shawn and Kaitlyn reconnect during their one-on-one date but that's just a prelude to Ian's implosion. First, a reminder. Ian was one of Chris Harrison's five guys to watch at the beginning of the season:
“He is a very good-looking
guy who is ready to sweep the Bachelorette of her feet. He’s a Princeton
graduate and definitely approaches being on the show analytically and very
cerebrally. But he can be off putting and his approach can easily be misunderstood
as uninterested or unromantic," says Harrison. "He is vetting out the
women as much as they are looking for the man of their dreams. He is
approaching it like a project, but he is very sincere and real about it. It’s
probably the way he has become successful in all the ways he is and so he is
going to employ this proven strategy to dating too.”
Ian's meltdown was one for the ages, and I'm wondering how he feels about it this morning, assuming he watched the episode last night. It's easy to understand the frustration of any participant in this weird, other-worldly we're-pretending-to-be-dating-but-we're-really-just pawns-in-a-very-profitable-TV-franchise experience, but really Ian, you should know better. Dissing the star, talking about how great you are, how hot your ex is and how you're perfect to be the next Bachelor is the opposite of smart. Amanda Michelle Steiner has a great recap at People.com, including a verbatim transcript of everything Ian said. I'll just say, Ian, you're not as smart as you said you are. There's no way you're the next Bachelor. After last night, you'll be lucky to get cast on Bachelor In Paradise.
And with that, Rosebuds, we're done. No rose ceremony, which is now the new normal, and we have to wait until next week to learn who goes home. Presumably Joshua and Ian are out the door, beyond that, stay tuned and meet me back here next week. Same Bach time, same Bach channel.
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