Freedom (And Those Pesky Umbrellas)

Every unhappily married woman in America envies MacKenzie Bezos right now, none more so than the woman trapped in wretched, soul-destroying indentured servitude to the president of the United States:

In their divorce, Jeff Bezos's wife MacKenzie will receive 36 billion dollars. Melania's assistant was just overheard telling the other staff members, "Just let her cry it out"

— Paul Rudnick (@PaulRudnickNY) April 6, 2019

In other Trump news, Donald still hasn't been taught how to close an umbrella:

Lol Trump still hasn’t figured out how to close an umbrella pic.twitter.com/SIy14XGBfp

— Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) April 5, 2019

Previous example here:

Unbelievable -- Trump doesn't know how to close an umbrella, so inside of closing it and bringing it aboard Air Force One with him, he just dropped it outside the plane. pic.twitter.com/G5AtmPaRvz

— Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) October 27, 2018

... and more unbrella trouble here:

Trump megafails while trying to use an umbrella upon his return to DC pic.twitter.com/re15WrSOmV

— Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) April 29, 2018

This one provides a fascinating (and depressing) look at the dynamics between Donald, his wife and his son:

Donald Trump boards Air Force One in the rain holding a large umbrella — wife and son trail behind pic.twitter.com/esWTEr7lvR

— Jon Levine (@LevineJonathan) February 27, 2018

And one more thing. I'm always happy to re-post this tweet:

Six different administrations.

Note: creator asked that I not tag them in this tweet. pic.twitter.com/Z85zrbpPth

— Yashar Ali 🐘 (@yashar) April 21, 2017

Would Melania bail for $36 billion? Faster than you can snap an umbrella closed.