Blogging The Bach: The Women Told All

Note: this post contains possible spoilers. 

The Women Tell All? Actually, they didn't. What they mostly did is scream at each other, and in Britt's case, cry a lot. I had been saying that I was looking forward to watching the WTA show, but I think I was in the throes of my own little version of Stockholm Syndrome, and until now I haven't felt compelled to take to the blog to express myself. I got caught up in the craziness of this show and lost sight for a moment of how silly, and unreal, it really is. 

If you want to know how unreal the Women Tell All show really is, check this eye-opening article at the website of New York magazine. It's written by a woman who attended the taping and there's lots of good stuff about what really goes on. About all those dramatic reactions from the audience: 

The actual taping starts at 4 p.m., and kicks off with about 15 minutes of pre-taping canned audience reactions to splice into the show later. Laugh! Applaud! Turn to your neighbor and respond to something shocking. Look shocked! Not that shocked! Too shocked, instructs the disembodied voice of a producer. It’s exhausting, performing what’s required of an actual live audience: the ability to show an extensive range of emotions on command. There are broad beauty-queen smiles of sympathy and sisterhood, frowns of disapproval, grimaces of disgust. Nobody’s face ever reveals the true catatonic glaze of sitting in the exact same position for nearly a full working day. Two women, however, learn what happens you’re not expressive enough: early replacement. After some panicked radioing between producers monitoring the show, those two sociopaths are swapped out before the first Bachelor contestant even sheds a tear.

Tonight we're back to the actual show, the finale episode in fact, and finally two pressing questions will be answered. Who did Chris pick? and Who will be the next Bachelorette? Conventional wisdom among the denizens of Bachelor Nation is that Chris is now engaged to Whitney and Kaitlyn is the next Bach'ette, and based on everything I've seen and read, I'm pretty sure that's the case. (And, spoiler alert, a couple of weeks ago Reality Steve announced definitively that Kaitlyn got the job.)  

Still, yesterday on Instagram, Chris Harrison posted a picture of what he says is the actual final rose, along with a comment that we're "all in for a big surprise" during the 3-hour finale tonight. As with pretty much everything else he and the producers say and do between November 22, when filming was completed and today, when the final episode airs, this is almost certainly a meaningless tease. The only thing that would qualify as a big surprise is if Chris isn't engaged to Whitney or if Kaitlyn isn't the Bach'ette. If either of those things happens I'll come back tomorrow and eat some crow. Not so much about being wrong about Kaitlyn or Whitney, but for doubting that a big surprise really is a big surprise. 

Now, having said all that, I won't be watching in real time tonight because I have a commitment and won't be home watching TV. I will be able to check Twitter periodically, which is what I'm planning to do. Hang on, rosebuds, it's almost over!