Only The Best

You're going on a golf vacation! How exciting! The resort you've selected, in sunny Florida, was one of the "2018 Golf Digest Editors' Choice Golf Resorts in Florida." The place is "impeccably designed and exquisitely appointed." (It says so right on the website.) The website also says that they will make your fitness their priority, "helping you elevate your wellness regiment even when you travel." (I think they mean wellness regimen, but close enough.)

This resort is so sublime that the current President of the United States selected it as the perfect location to host world leaders during next year's G7 summit. Yes, it's the Trump National Doral Miami and it's going to make Americans proud.

Or maybe not. When you get there, this is some of what you may see:

Not one but two county garbage dumps, as seen through the windows of the BLT Prime Restaurant: 



Planes coming in to land at nearby Miami International Airport, so close overhead that sunbathers at the pool can smell the kerosene fumes:



If your kids (or you) were looking forward to sliding down the 125-foot water slide at the pool, forget it. It's closed:



... and this classy sign advises you to be careful on the wet floor:



If you sit in one of the poolside chaises, you're going to get wet:



You'll also be sitting on mold:






This charming cigarette receptacle is next to one of the main entrances to the hotel:



Next to the bed in one of the rooms is one outlet and a phone that does not function:



... and a dirty socket:



One of the elevators is out-of-order, resulting in long lines for guests:



You'll also notice filthy walls, chipped paint and a carpet that needs vacuuming:



No, this is not a junkyard. This is the guest parking lot:



Finally, beware. Yes, there are bedbugs:



To be clear, I didn't visit the Trump Doral. The Daily Mail did, incognito, for three days at the end of October. These pictures are from the online story, published Friday, and in the interest of fairness, I'll also mention that apparently the service provided by hotel employees was impeccable. Read more here.

Actually, Donald's tacky hotel isn't going to make Americans proud during the 2020 G7 because after the uproar about emoluments and corruption, Donald changed his mind, or at least, he backed down. The G7 will take place somewhere else.